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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Sign of the Times


So recently Columbia's General Studies (what the hell is that anyway?) valedictorian, Brian Corman, ripped of a large chunk of a comedy routine by Patton Oswalt during his valedictory speech. Now I think Patton is kind of a douche personally, but there is no doubting his talent. If he were in the NBA one would likely say "he got game." But he's a slow, white, geeky chump so clearly his choice of comedy over the NBA was a good one. But I digress.

In any event Mr. Corman aka the guy who for all eternity will have his first google result be "plagiarized valedictory speech" will be going to law school in the fall. So let's see what we've learned here.

1) The world is going to hell in a hand basket (no citation needed).

2) Columbia is an Ivy League school where being valedictorian would presumably mean something, even if it's in General Studies/4 years of dorking around on dad's dime.

3) A guy who is stupid enough to blatantly rip off his valedictory speech from a slow white geeky chump is also presumably "smart" enough to be a valedictorian in the first place and then get into law school (and no doubt a good one that will ultimately result in him getting a big firm/high-paying job).

Lesson:

Please for goodness sakes do not be impressed by those who we are told we should be impressed with. Ivy Leaguers have all the big jobs in the big offices, but for no other reason really than tradition and someone has to sit in there and pay rent. Mr. Corman cheated, lied, and plagiarized his way to the top and that, in a nutshell, is how it's done. I don't begrudge Mr. Corman his success, such that it is. I see that he has gotten to his stature the same way his predecessors have, by any means possible.

This is all just a sign of the times. We're on the slow downhill slide; to where, I don't know, but the road to hell is surely paved with jokes by Patton Oswalt.

Monday, May 3, 2010

I used to be a fan of Carmelo



Now I'm not so sure. Pink pants, a cardigan and getting off the rainbow bus with a man purse? Wow. I'm going to have to rethink this one.