Retirement

Lorena Ochoa's retirement from the LPGA today, at the age of 28 got me thinking about how great it would be if other professions had early retirements complete with press releases. Here's what I'd want my press release to read like for my retirement:

The Jj, the world's top-ranked nonsense blogger, announced his retirement Tuesday.

Jj, 31, confirmed the news in a statement released by his management company, Jj Group. A news conference is scheduled for Friday in Redondo Beach.

The L.A. Times, citing an anonymous source, reported on Tuesday that the Jj could return to competitive blogging after his indefinite break.

"It is not a goodbye but a see-you-later," the source told the Times.

Although the Jj has been in top form this year, he felt like he had reached a creative peak with his evisceration of Lars in his most recent posts and found it too easy to dominate the Swede.

The Jj, 1st on the 2010 best looking blogging list, won his fourth straight most awesome blogger from Redondo Beach who calls himself the Jj award last year.

He has launched two wildly successful blogs including the current worldwide phenomenon to go with his previous chart topping WhatsJivDoinNow? His blogging has been compared to the writing of Fitzgerald, Hemingway and Shakespeare, if they had a crazy orgy with Grace Kelly, Penelope Cruz and Mother Teresa who then all simultaneously gave birth to the prodigal son who just talked about his goings on in a small beach community on a near daily basis. The Jj has $14.2 million in career AdSense earnings.

"The Jj's very happy with his life and wants to focus on his family, but he won't be afraid to use his time off to take Lars to the hole and score on him at will" the source told the Times.